The Disappointment that is Asher Roth

I hate reviews. Movie reviews, music reviews, concert reviews, all of them. Maybe it's because I had to write so many while with the DI. Maybe it's because I used to have a website whose content was solely music reviews, or maybe it's because they are totally irrelevant. People can make their own decisions. They don't need anyone else to tell them what to think or even enjoy for that matter.

HOWEVER

I had to write something today for the mere fact that I am so utterly disappointed. Asher Roth sucks. Or at least his first major debut does.

Seriously, is there a template or formula for shitty rap? I want to know. Does every mainstream rapper subscribe to a shitty rap newsletter? Cause all of you motherfuckers rap about fucking bitches, getting money (or not if you think it's a new idea to talk about not caring about money like Asher Roth - keep in mind anyone that says this has money and is thus lying anyways), haters, drinking, smoking weed, or the new one which baffles me, dancing. Are you fucking kidding me?

Asher, you had so much potential. "I Love College," is catchy. Funny. Maybe not totally original, but at least it was a breath of fresh air for a few months. And you ruined that. You made a real CD. You got the chance. You were called up to the big leagues. And you chose to make the songs "She Don't Wanna Man," "Blunt Cruisin, and "As I Am?" What a fucking joke.

Don't take me the wrong way. There are great songs about all of the topics I mentioned above, but you only make those songs if you can make them in a new way. Asher Roth does not. He fails miserably in my opinion.

Not to mention that shitty shitty shitty production of this CD. Stale is perhaps the best word. In fact the whole CD is stale. The flows, the beats, everything. If you were expecting something new and catchy from Asher Roth, you will certainly be disappointed like myself.

I saved the best for last. There's a track titled, "As I Em," which is all about how Roth is sick of being compared to Eminem. (Oh man what an awesome pun in the title of the song!) He hates it he says. He hates being interviewed about it. He's not Eminem. Ok, we get it. THEN WHY THE FUCK DOES YOUR WEBSITE PROCLAIM YOU AS THE NEXT EMINEM???!!? I'll be fair, I'm sure Roth didn't personally make his own website. But if your going to make a claim about not being Eminem, you should probably make sure your own press people aren't doing it. Maybe he'll get lucky and it will be off his website before anyone realizes what a fucking joke he is.

Oh yea though, here is the greatest Irony. His two best tracks, "Bad Day," and "Sour Patch Kids"... yea, they sound exactly like a less angry Eminem. So don't worry Asher, I don't think anyone will ever compare you to Marshall Mathers again, more like Vanilla Ice. Way to take another giant leap backwards for mainstream hip/hop.

P.s. I almost forgot. On the track "La Di Da," Roth states that Jay-Z gave him his approval. If this is true I'll probably cry.